Valiant: Tales From The Archive

[CURSEd #30: Kenkai Gekku]

Log Date: 1/7/12765

Data Sources: Darrow Bennion, Ilyana Kemaim

Event Log: Darrow Bennion

C.V. Mediator: Conference Room

12:02am LST

“If you are asking my opinion, then I think it would help if we explored the source of your discomfort on the topic of Avvikerene.”

I bite my lip a bit. I’m currently in the small conference room on the Mediator, sitting in one of the chairs, while across from me, the holoarray is projecting the image of a gray-haired elf in one of the other chairs. He appears to be well into the process of aging gracefully; his delicate glasses ride low on his nose, with a tablet in his lap, and simple, plain clothes; the very image of a therapist. CURSE has been paying for my sessions with him, which I’d started having twice a week ever since we returned from Avvikerene.

“I mean, there were a lot of things that made me uncomfortable on Avvikerene.” I say, rubbing my hands together nervously.

“There are, and we have talked about many of them. But you have been skirting around the one thing that Avvikerene is most known for — and I suspect it is the one thing that unsettles you more than any of the battles or struggles you faced on that planet.” Quilf says with a certain methodical calm. “I understand why you may be reluctant to talk about it, but I think that it forms the core of the trauma you experienced on that world. And in order for you to reckon with that trauma, and to begin healing from it, you need to be able to talk about it, so you can begin to work through it.”

Pressing my lips together, I exhale a long breath through my nose. I know he’s right, and that’s the whole point of these sessions. But it doesn’t make it any easier. “Yeah.” I agree quietly. “I guess we probably should talk about that.”

“I would also like to remind you that what we discuss here is confidential.” Quilf says, adjusting his glasses. “What is spoken in this session is disclosed to no one — not your superiors, not your peers, no one. You can speak without fear of their judgement, and as for myself, my job is not to judge you — it is to help you identify your trauma and find ways to heal or reconcile it.”

I nod. “Yeah. Yeah, of course.”

“Good. So, if I may — over the course of our sessions, you have indicated you are not comfortable with many aspects of Avvikerene. But the core of your discomfort does not appear to be based on Avvikerene’s reputation or the things that happen there. Rather, it seems to me, based off discussions to this point, that what you find most distressing about Avvikerene is what you think it reveals about yourself. Does this feel like a fair assessment to you?”

I think about that, then nod. “Yeah. There’s a lot on Avvikerene that… that would make people uncomfortable. A lot that made me uncomfortable. But I think the root of the discomfort is that it comes from… curiosity, I guess? Like, growing up, there are, uh, how do you put this. There are things that you’re not allowed to do, that are not okay, like…”

“Taboos?” Quilf offers.

“Yes! That, that’s exactly it.” I say quickly. “There are things that are taboo. And sometimes they’re not even directly taught to you; it’s just something that’s just implied, inferred from your environment, or the rules of society, you know what I mean?”

“You develop a sense of what is right and what is wrong by how people talk about certain topics, and how they behave. You draw indirect conclusions from their tone and public conduct.” Quilf says.

“Yes! That exactly. Sometimes you don’t even have to be told what you’re not supposed to do; you just know because of how people talk about it, and you see what happens when other people break the taboo.” I say, the words flowing more easily now. “And there are a lot of taboos about sexuality and courting and, and… well, you know. Certain types of behavior.”

“Indeed.” Quilf agrees. “And Avvikerene offers a place to break those taboos without the consequences, or judgement, that would normally accompany them.”

I nod. “Yeah. It does. And that’s… it makes you think, I guess. You realize there are things you’ve never done or tried because they were taboo, but when you start thinking about those taboos, you realize that for some of them, you can’t really articulate a good reason for why they exist, beyond the fact that the church or the community said that you couldn’t do it. And sometimes there’s a religious justification, but it’s justified dogmatically, which means that there’s, like, no real, scientifically-based logic behind it. It’s just there because, like, god said ‘no’, or like, some wrinkly old prophet didn’t really like short skirts and piercings, and… sorry, am I making sense?”

“More than you might expect. And you demonstrate a decent understanding of how dogmatic logic and religious culture functions, which makes my job a good deal easier.” Quilf nods. “If you don’t mind me asking, then — it seems to me that you had a religious upbringing, either in the Christling or Anayan tradition?”

“Yeah, I was raised in a Christling household.” I say, leaning forward a little. “And like… don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to blame my religion for my problems, because, like, that’s… it’s not really the whole truth? Like, religion is a mixed bag. There some good things and some bad things about it. It’s more complicated than a lot of people want to make it.”

“Of course. Religion is rarely a simple topic, and it can rarely be reduced down to black and white outcomes.” Quilf says. “It is entirely possible that your religion helped you as a person. And it is also possible that it left you with some psychological impediments or developmental struggles. Both of these things can be true at the same time, without diminishing the validity of either.”

I puff out a relieved breath. “Thanks. It helps to hear that. ‘Cause when I talk about this with my friends and coworkers, it’s like… it’s one way or the other. Religion’s either the worst thing in the galaxy or the best thing that ever happened to society, and never anything in between. So I just… I usually don’t talk about it because I don’t want to constantly be in the middle of that, y’know?”

“Well, I would not say that I ‘know’, as such, but I can empathize with the sentiment of being a moderate caught between two extremes. It is not a pleasant place to be.” Quilf says, making a note on his data slate. “And so, to tie this back to the original topic of discussion, it is these religious and cultural taboos that Avvikerene allows you to break, if you so desire — and you found yourself uncomfortably tempted by that possibility, which in turn caused you to question the parts of your identity that were built upon your religious background. Does this sound correct to you?”

“Yeah. In part. The other part of it is that Avvikerene, it tempts out this… this primal version of you, this animal side, like a, a… wild or feral version of yourself.” I say, searching for the words to articulate what I’m trying to convey. “A side of you that hungers for the satiation of desire, as pretentious as that sounds. A side that would revel in simple pleasures. And the thing is, that side of you is always there; everybody has it. But almost all of us keep it buried and repressed, because, y’know, we have to act civilized.”

“We live in a society, and if we wish to participate in that society, we must bridle our impulses and desires to live in harmony with others.” Quilf says, taking my sentiment to its natural progression.

“Yeah. And you get so used to burying it, to suppressing it, that you don’t even think about everything you’re shoving down and keeping contained. It becomes something that your mind just automatically does for you. Weird impulses? Strange desires? Shut it down, put it in the closet, don’t think about it, pretend to be normal.” I say, making grabbing motion and pulling my hand up. “But Avvikerene, it just brings all of that right up to surface where you can’t ignore it or hide from it. You have to face it, or spend all your time running from it. Every weird impulse, every strange desire, every uncommon obsession, it all gets pulled up right to the front of your head and you have to reckon with it.” I stop for a moment, lacing my fingers together as my words try to catch up with my mind. “…and you find yourself wondering why am I like this? Why am I fascinated by these things? It unsettles you, but at the same time, it draws you in. Perhaps it unsettles you because it draws you in.”

Quilf doesn’t answer right away, seeming to take some time to consider his next words. “And do you feel that these impulses present a physical danger to yourself or others? Or are they the sort of impulses that would simply present a reputational threat if others knew about them?”

“Oh, most of them are just weird, you know? Not dangerous, just weird.” I say quickly. “Like, I don’t have a compulsion to do anything that would hurt anyone. Most times. And when I do, it’s something I can recognize and suppress. And the rest of it…” I run a hand through my hair. “…well, I mean, you probably don’t want to be burdened with whatever weird shit goes on in my head.”

“Quite the contrary. I am paid to help with the strange things that go on within a patient’s mind. One might say that it is the entire premise of psychological therapy.” Quilf says with a slight smile. “But as I said before, I am not here to judge you. I am here to analyze the workings of your mind, and help guide you to resolving whatever mental tensions you may be struggling with. If most of your impulses would not bring harm to others, and ones that do, you can recognize and restrain, then I think you are in a good position as far as mental stability goes.” He pauses a moment to tap his stylus against the side of his data slate, seeming to mull over his next words. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but I assume some of these impulses or desires that you considered abnormal were sexual impulses, fantasies, or cravings that you were uncomfortable with?”

I shift a little in my seat. “I mean, well, yeah. Avvikerene brings all that stuff to the surface.”

“Of course. If you’re not comfortable with discussing the specifics of those desires, then we don’t have to. But I think it would be good to examine them more broadly, particularly in the context of why they make you so uncomfortable.” he says, shifting to fold one leg over the other as he looks over his slate, then up at me. “I have a couple of thoughts I’d like to put before you, and see if you feel like either of these scenarios resonate with you. The first is that your discomfort with your sexual desires stems from a misalignment in your desires and your conception of your sexual identity — the way you think of your sexual preferences and desires. The second scenario is drawn from our earlier discussion about taboos — your discomfort stems from a conflict between the things you desire and whatever sexual taboos that are present in your religious or cultural background. Your thoughts?”

I’m quiet for a moment as I mull that over. “…can I say both?”

“Certainly. The two are not mutually exclusive.”

“Okay. Yeah, because both feel like they apply here. And it feels like… you get one, because of the other?” I say, rubbing my palms against each other. “Like, it’s a little stressful to think that you like certain things, and then you find out or realize that your sexual appetite is bigger, or— well, not bigger, persay, but it covers more things than you thought it did? Like, like food, you know? You go your entire life thinking that you like a certain set of things, and then you suddenly find out that you like a bunch of dishes that you’ve never tried before, and it forces you to rethink what you know. And part of that is because of the way you grew up, you were only allowed to have certain types of food, so you never realized you like the other stuff because you’d never tried it before, you know?” After a moment, I quickly add: “Oh, the part about not being allowed to have certain foods growing up, that’s the, uh, the taboo stuff. In the metaphor. In case that wasn’t clear. Sorry, my brain is working really hard to get through all this right now.”

Quilf gives a kind smile. “No need to apologize. I was following along quite easily, and your metaphor is a good one, I must say. I may use it later with other patients that have similar struggles. But I am glad to see that my theories have borne out, and now that we have identified the cause of your mental discomfort, we can move to the next step, which is processing, and reconciling—”

The buzzing of my phone cuts in, and we both glance to where it’s lying on the table. When it doesn’t stop buzzing, I lean forward and grab it, turning it over so I can check the message, then press my lips together. “…sorry. It looks like the team is ready to deploy for the current assignment. I’m gonna have to go.”

“Of course. I understand your work asks much of you.” Quilf says, setting his data slate aside. “I think we made good progress today, and I hope you feel the same way.”

“Yeah. Yeah, it was… I feel like things make a bit more sense now. And that’s helpful.” I say, taking a deep breath. “So that was good. That was helpful. Thanks, doctor.”

“Of course. I’ll go ahead and schedule our next session, and you can let me know if the time works for you. For now, I’ll let you be on your way — duty calls, after all.”

I snort. “Something like that.” I say, standing up. “You have a good day, doctor.”

“And you as well, Darrow.”

Event Log: Darrow Bennion

Talingrad: R34 Studios

3:02pm SGT

I pull a deep, calming breath, then let it out.

“Alright, so am I the only one—” I begin.

“That thinks it’s suspicious that they stuck all three of us on this assignment after sending us to Avvikerene?” Whisper interrupts, giving a sour look to the multistory building here on the city’s outskirts. “I’m gonna be having words with someone when we get back to the HQ.”

Kwyn doesn’t say anything, pointedly avoiding looking at both Whisper and myself. We’re standing in the parking lot outside of the studio, which from the outside, doesn’t really seem all that remarkable. The assignment briefing, however, had quite clearly hinted at the kind of content creation that went on inside.

“You got the warrant?” I ask, glancing at Whisper.

“Yeah. It’s got the seal and everything.” Whisper says, pulling an envelope out of her jacket. “SCION said he had to pull some strings on Sybione to get the judge for the Macchiot District to sign off on it. Seems like moving the CURSE HQ into Marshy space last year bought us a few favors with the Marshies as a whole.”

“Well, at least we’re getting something out of it.” I say, reaching into my uniform jacket and pulling out my badge, checking it over. “You all got your badges?”

“Yeah.” Whisper says.

“Got mine.” Kwyn says quietly.

“Alright then.” I say, starting towards the building. “Let’s go arrest a porn star.”

Whisper and Kwyn follow without a word, and we cross the parking lot to the front entrance. Stepping inside, the front lobby looks pretty standard, with a receptionist behind a desk and a few couches and chairs scattered around, though there’s almost no one here. Beelining straight for the desk, Whisper pulls her jacket to the side, flashing her badge as the receptionist looks up. “We’re with CURSE. Or Citizens United, whatever they want us to call it now. We have a warrant for Kenkai Gekku; which studio is he in?” she demands.

The receptionist stares at Whisper, then jumps a little when she slaps the warrant down on the counter and unfolds it to make her point. After a moment, he glances to what appear to be a couple of thick bouncers near the elevators; one of them starts to turn.

“Don’t.” I call over to them. “You two stay right there. Either of you run off to warn someone, both of you are getting obstruction charges.”

Both of them stare at me, remaining where they are, though one reaches up to his earpiece and taps it, starting to speak quieter than we can hear. Kwyn taps on her bracelet, lifting it to her mouth. “Jam it.” she orders.

The bouncers twist their heads to the side a couple seconds after, tormented with feedback and scrambling to pull their earbuds out as SCION and the team outside start jamming all comms in the area. While the bouncers are doing that, Whisper leans forward on the counter. “Kenkai Gekku. Floor and studio. Now, unless you wanna catch an obstruction charge as well.”

The receptionist swallows hard. “Uhm. Up on the fourth floor, studio C.”

Whisper turns and heads for the elevators at that, and Kwyn and I follow her. The bouncers don’t stop us, though it looks like they’re considering it. Once we’re in the elevator and the doors are closed, I pull my stunner pistol out and power it on, before holstering it once more. “I have a feeling CURSE’s lawyers are going to be busy after this.” I mutter.

“This wasn’t gonna be a quiet job, no matter how much we wanted it to be.” Whisper says, pulling back her jacket sleeves and powering on her wrist pistols. “But we’ve got room to maneuver. Gekku never took resettlement agreement, so he’s not protected by its provisions. Some of what he’s done since then may be covered under the CAB.”

“CAB?” Kwyn asks, looking at us.

“Challenger Activities Ban.” I explain. “Colloquium law that went into effect after the Challenger program was shuttered. It basically gave security organizations carte blanche to go after Challengers that were operating independently after the program went down.”

“But being an adult entertainer isn’t forbidden by the CAB, is it?” Kwyn asks as the elevator starts to slow. “Least I figure it wouldn’t be…”

“It’s not forbidden, but Gekku cashed in on his fame as one of the better-known Challengers. Parlayed it into a career in adult entertainment. Leveraging your Challenger status for personal gain was something that was prosecutable if you could make an argument that the individual would’ve been denied the gain but for their Challenger status.” Whisper says as the doors open, and we step out of the elevator. “And Gekku flexed his Challenger affiliation for all it was worth.”

“Couldn’t you make that argument about other Challengers?” Kwyn points out as we start down the hall. “Echo started a business, Captain Cralix was promoted to admiral of an elite fleetguard, and I’m pretty sure their Challenger past helped them get there.”

“Yeah, but we wouldn’t have been able to go after them.” Whisper says. “They’re both respectable. Echo was a decent guy and Cralix is as clean as they come. Gekku, on the other hand, is an easier target. We can make use of his skills, and because he never took the resettlement agreement, he’s fair game.”

I avoid the gazes of some of the ‘talent’ we’re passing in the hallway, some of them in bathrobes between scenes, others still in their set costumes. It’s clear that they can tell we’re not from around here, and the looks aren’t exactly friendly. Those that are checking their phones seem to be frustrated by the fact that they’ve got no connection — most people in the building probably don’t realize there’s a CURSE ops van outside that’s shutting down comms in this area.

“Do you think Gekku will come quietly?” I ask Whisper as we pass a set door where the sound baffles inside haven’t completely blocked out the exaggerated moaning within.

“Honey, Gekku never comes quietly.” says a bathrobed elf on the left that looks like she’s on her vape break, smirking at us between puffs. “He’s a lot of things, but quiet is not one of them.”

I color slightly and fix my gaze on the back of Whisper’s head and we keep heading down the hall. “They should’ve put Prophet on this assignment instead of us. I’m pretty sure it would’ve given him an aneurysm.” I mutter.

“If you’re wondering, we’re prolly gonna have to run him down.” Whisper says as we start to near the end of the hall. “The moment Gekku realizes who we are and what we’re here for, he’s prolly gonna bolt.”

“Fantastic.” I mutter as Whisper slows to a stop in front of the door with a plate that simply reads C. She doesn’t hesitate to twist the handle and step in, and I stay close behind her, while Kwyn stays close behind me.

Inside, we’re immediately greeted by a bedroom set, the crew and cast currently between scenes. The holocapture equipment is set up around the set, while technicians and costume crew are working away from the set, and it looks like the talent… well, one of the talent, an avian vashy with bright red feathers and a monogrammed bathrobe, currently appears to be arguing with the director.

“GIVE ME something that will challenge me! Look at this dialogue! Was it written by an AI with a damaged neural processor?” the vashy demands, rapping their fingers against a data slate that they’re holding up. “I’ve seen fanfics that read better than this. Where’s the spice? Where’s the intrigue? Where’s the narrative? If you’re gonna cast me in a cuck film, GIVE ME something to work with! I need roles with motivation, with depth, with purpose, not just spontaneous sex!”

The director sighs, massaging his brow. I almost feel sorry for him, with how tired he looks. “Ken. I get it, I do. You’re an artist, you’re proud of your work. But you also know the market. People aren’t watchin’ for the narrative. You know that.”

“Oh my GOD.” Gekku says, throwing their head back and pinching the bridge of their nose. “How is it you’ve been a director this long and still don’t understand the industry. Narrative is everything in these pictures. Porn is psychological. You are building a story, laying out a premise, setting up expectations, with all of it leading towards the payoff. If you don’t set up the first three, the payoff ain’t worth shit! It’s just another quick wank! It doesn’t stick in people’s heads and turn into an obsession!”

“You really think your audience is that sophisticated?” the director says, giving Gekku a flat look.

“THEY DON’T NEED TO BE SOPHISTICATED!” Gekku yells. “They can be dumb little shits; most of them won’t even understand what they’re feeling. But it’s our job to make them feel it, and hook them, so they come back to keep watching, again and again and again. Quality porn gets more views; more views means more ad plays; more ad plays means more money. Do I have to explain that part to you too?”

Whisper’s chuckling breaks into the argument, with both the director and Gekku looking towards the three of us, who have come up about ten feet short of them. “Oh man, Gekku. I have never seen you this fired up before. Can you imagine what it would’ve been like if you cared about your old job as much as you cared about your current job?” she says.

Gekku narrows their eyes at Whisper, starting to open their mouth, before pausing. You can see their face speedrun through recognition, then shock, then horror. “Whisper? What are you…” Gekku stutters.

“Long time no see, Chameleon.” Whisper smirks, pulling the envelope out of her jacket and holding it up. “You know what this is?”

Gekku’s eyes go to the envelope, then they turn and bolt for the door without warning.

“Oh yeah, he knows what it is.” Whisper says, tucking the envelope away and sprinting after him. I draw my stunner, pivoting back towards the door to the studio; beside me, Kwyn’s already gathered a swirling ball of white light in her hands, throwing it towards the doorway. It intercepts Gekku as he skids out into the hall, but it doesn’t seem to shift him at all.

“Was that supposed to knock him down?” I ask Kwyn as I sprint towards the door after Whisper.

“No, it’s a spirit trace. I should be able to track him now, so long as we remain within a few miles of him.” she explains.

“Really? Nicely done, Junior. That’s perfect for chasing down a Shifter.” I say as we skid into the hall and chase after Whisper and Gekku.

“Thanks.” she says, coloring a little, but I mark it up to the fact that we’re sprinting down a hall trying to arrest a porn star.

“CURSE Peacekeepers! Out of the way!” Whisper shouts up ahead of us, trying clear the hallway as we dodge around talent and technical crew moving between sets and studios. Gekku is ducking and weaving through them with ease, their exterior shifting and swirling to assume other likenesses as they run. One of their eyes even glides around to back of their head to stare at us, so that Gekku doesn’t have to turn his head to look at us. “Stop running, Gekku! You’re just making this worse on yourself the more you resist!”

“This isn’t fair! I haven’t done anything wrong!” Gekku shouts, not slowing down.

“If that was true, you wouldn’t have run in the first place, you limey little liar!” Whisper yells, parkouring off the wall to get around a particularly large orc in a bathrobe. Kwyn and I are left to scramble around him, doing our best to keep up with Whisper. “I’ve already got you down for resisting arrest! If you stop now it won’t get any worse than that!”

“You can’t charge me if you can’t catch me!” Gekku retorts, squeezing between a couple of larger models and ducking through doorway at the end of the hallway. Whisper struggles to get between them, giving Kwyn and I time to catch up to her, and all three of us push through into the room that Gekku disappeared into — only to find ourselves in a cafeteria, loosely populated with staff and talent taking their lunches. Gekku is nowhere in sight, though we’re getting plenty of stares from those present.

“Dammit!” Whisper hisses, clenching her fists and looking around. “He’s shifted. He’s gotta be in here somewhere. Fan out and flush him out!”

“Whisper, wait.” I say, catching her shoulder. “Kwyn tagged Gekku with a spirit trace before he bolted. Kwyn, can you—”

“On it.” Kwyn says, lifting a hand and folding down her middle and ring fingers as she closes her eyes. A spirit wolf splits off of her, prowling out into the cafeteria, winding between the tables and prompting some of the staff to lean away from it. It soon picks up speed, zeroing in on a dwarf that’s at the salad bar; the dwarf ducks and scrambles away, developing an extra limb to catch itself as it trips and fumbles away from Kwyn’s wolf.

“Really, Gekku?” Whisper shouts, bolting in that direction, and I’m quick to follow. “A dwarf? Eating a salad? You call yourself an actor?”

“Shut up! I don’t play stereotypes!” Gekku shouts, their form shifting into something taller and more feline as they haul themselves up over the salad bar and leap off it with a springy set of digitigrade legs. Whisper follows that route, vaulting over the salad bar, while I scramble around it, and Kwyn’s wolf phases right through it. Gekku goes springing from table to table to table, lunging off the last one to catch a doorframe on the other side of the cafeteria and swing through it.

“Well, you can tell he used to be a Challenger.” I say, skidding around tables and trying to keep up with Whisper. She’s small and fast, but my longer stride allows me to make up the ground, so that I’m right on her heels by the time she reaches the doorway.

Which turns out to be a mistake, because Whisper rounds the doorway and immediately trips over a mop lodged in the hallway, and I immediately trip over Whisper.

“AaaAAHH shit!” I grunt, throwing my arms out to either side of Whisper and catching myself on the floor to avoid flattening her. Ahead of us, Gekku runs down the hall and ducks into a room on the left.

“Dammit— sorry, I wasn’t expecting that—” Whisper says, kicking at the mop that tripped her up.

“It’s fine, it’s fine, let’s just catch Gekku.” I say quickly, getting my feet under me and lunging up and forwards, pelting towards the door Gekku disappeared into. There’s plate on it that reads ‘PROP ROOM’, and I grab the doorframe and swing into the room at speed.

I’m immediately met by something thick, purple, and rubbery being swung into my face like a spaceball bat. The weighty impact takes me clean off my feet, which keep moving forward while my head is moving backwards, and I land on my back, the breath knocked out of me. As I lay there, trying to catch my breath, I’m kicked in the head by someone rushing in the door and tripping over me, and a second later Whisper goes sprawling atop me, knocking the breath out of me again.

“Whisper!” I wheeze, using a hand to slap her thigh and try to get her off me.

“Sorry, sorry, why are you on the floor?” Whisper grunts, scrambling to get off me as Gekku slithers off the bin by the door where they’d been waiting to ambush us.

“Watch out!” I cough, pointing to where Gekku’s winding up for another swing with the purple thing.

Whisper looks around, but it’s too late; Gekku catches her in the side of the head with the swing, which has enough rubbery force behind it to knock her to the side. She staggers and braces herself on the bin, but catches the followup swing before it can connect. It’s only at that point that we get a good look at the purple thing that Gekku’s been beating us about the head with.

“What the HELL!” Whisper shouts. “You just assaulted a galactic peacekeeper with two feet of SILICONE DRAGON DICK!”

“Bitch, you ain’t seen nothing yet!” Gekku says, letting go of the sex toy and reaching back to the shelving unit behind them, grabbing a short leather whip.

I’m still trying to get my breath back, but I struggle back to my hands and knees while Whisper and Gekku are duking it out with the whip and the dragon toy. Seeing me get back up, Gekku swats at Whisper and turns to swing the whip at me, only for Kwyn’s spirit wolf to phase through the wall, piledriving Gekku back into the shelving unit behind him. As it snarls and bites Gekku, trying to get them to the ground and hold them there, I pull my stunner out and hit Gekku with a pulse. Gekku squirms as the stun charge dissipates across their body, their exterior rippling and losing some color.

“Okay okay okay, I yield, I yield!” Gekku grunts, dropping the whip and putting their hands up. “Jeez! I haven’t done anything!”

“YOU ATTACKED US WITH A DILDO!” Whisper shouts at Gekku.

“That’s resisting arrest and assaulting a peace officer.” I wheeze, keeping my stunner trained on Gekku.

“It was in self-defense! I haven’t committed any crimes, CURSE has no grounds for trying to arrest me!” Gekku snaps back at her.

“The warrant says otherwise.” Whisper hisses. “This could’ve been easy, Chameleon. I warned you multiple times and you still ran, so now we’re doing this the hard way.”

Gekku narrows their eyes at her. “Well if that’s how it’s gonna be, then.” A smirk crosses their face as their eyes move to the dragon toy still hanging from Whisper’s hand. “That came out of the bin of props that still have to be washed after scenes.”

Whisper glances to the dragon toy, dropping it as Gekku’s words click. “Oh that is just FOUL!” Wiping her hand off on her pants, she turns to me. “Give me that.” she says, grabbing the stunner out of my hands. Dialing the charge up to max, she points it at Gekku.

“Wait wait wait—” Gekku says hastily, but it’s too late. Whisper hits Gekku with a maxed-out pulse, and Gekku goes stiff, vibrating for a moment before sprawling out on the ground, seeming to soften at the edges, like they were made of runny putty.

“You didn’t kill them, did you?” I say, slightly concerned.

“He’s a Shifter. Stunners have reduced effect on them because of how they can rearrange their central nervous systems. You have to hit them with a higher charge than most humanoids.” Whisper grumbles.

“Alright, I’m here. Sorry it took me so long to catch up.” Kwyn says, skidding into the prop room behind us. “We caught them?”

“Keep an eye on him.” Whisper says, holding my stunner out to Kwyn. 

“Oh… sure, but… where are you going?” Kwyn asks, taking the stunner with some confusion.

“I need to go find the bathroom and scrub my face and hands with bleach.” Whisper says, turning and leaving the room. “I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

Kwyn looks at me, a wordless ask for explanation, but I don’t have either the breath or the delicacy to explain it. “I should probably do the same.” I grunt, turning towards the door and following Whisper. “If Gekku wakes up, hit them with a maxed-out pulse. Don’t feel bad about it; Whisper says that Shifters are resistant to stunners.”

“Oh… okay… sure.” Kwyn says, turning back to Gekku. With that settled, I follow Whisper out into the hall to hunt down a bathroom, and a thorough, thorough, facewash.

Event Log: Darrow Bennion

C.V. Mediator: Brig

8:04pm LST

“Surprised they let us take him offworld.” Kwyn says, staring at Gekku through the one-way window in the interrogation room. “Didn’t think they’d let us remove him from their jurisdiction.”

“Like I said earlier, moving the CURSE HQ into Marshy space came with a few perks.” Whisper says, flicking through a data slate she’s got in hand. It seems like she’s reading up on the profile that the intelligence department built on Gekku. “We can’t keep him indefinitely, but we’re allowed to conduct the interrogation on our ship, without local authorities present to monitor or interfere.”

“Isn’t he allowed to have a lawyer or a legal advocate present?” Kwyn says, furrowing her brow.

“Eh, technically, but from the legal standpoint we usually think of CURSE vessels as mobile blacksites.” Whisper shrugs. “Some laws can be waived in the interest of the galactic welfare.”

“Whisper.” I warn.

Whisper rolls her eyes. “Of course, we’re not gonna be torturing anybody or anything. Gekku’s a little bitch, anyway. He’s got no spine, and I don’t just say that because he’s a Shifter.”

“Is it really a smart move to try and recruit him, then?” Kwyn says as Gekku looks towards us. They can’t see us, but being a former Challenger, Gekku probably knows there’s people watching him on the other side of the cell, as evinced by the way they stick their tongue out at us. “If he folds that easily, I wouldn’t imagine he’d be a very reliable asset.”

“He folds when under threat. So long as he doesn’t blow his cover, he’s mostly a reliable operative.” Whisper says, scowling as Gekku shifts, their surface rippling to take on Whisper’s appearance and likeness. It’s not exact, though; the color of the irises are off by a shade, and the hair isn’t in quite the right style.

“Hey, can someone let me out?” Gekku shouts inside the cell. “That weaselly Shifter trapped me in here and esc—”

Gekku’s cut off as an electrical pulse runs through the room, tasing them. Moving her hand down the console, Whisper turns on the intercom. “Try that again and I’ll double the voltage.” she warns, turning the intercom off afterwards.

Gekku wobbles back to the chair in their cell, sitting down in it sulkily as their exterior ripples back to something more ambiguously gendered and slightly avian. “Geez, talk about a killjoy.”

“As you can tell, he has a penchant for playing mind games.” Whisper says. “Very manipulative. Not quite a pathological liar and not quite a sociopath, but he’s pretty self-centered and a little narcissistic. Or at least he was while he was in the Challenger program, and it doesn’t seem like he’s changed much since then.”

“Is he… really a he?” Kwyn asks hesitantly. “Doesn’t seem like they’re all too committed to a single gender, and I’ve heard Shifters can, like… change their biology if they want to. Is that true, or…?”

Whisper and I exchange looks, and I pat Kwyn’s shoulder. “Kwyn, let’s just say… there’s a reason that Gekku and certain other Shifters have found a lot of success in adult entertainment. Many of them are very… flexible talents. That can handle a… very large variety of roles.”

“Oh.” Kwyn says, coloring a little.

“Gekku will always be a he to me, because that’s what he was whenever he wasn’t on a mission back in the day.” Whisper says, looking back down to her data slate. “Claimed he was genderfluid, but habits speak louder than words. You had to get him drunk at the Spice before he’d condescend to the feminine form.” She hands off the data slate to Kwyn. “He isn’t exactly the shining paragon of Shifter culture, either. Shifter society doesn’t like it when Shifters take up espionage, sex work, or porn. Reinforces harmful stereotypes and all that.”

“Still, I mean. You can’t really blame them, right?” I point out. “Most security orgs with an espionage element are willing to pay through the nose for a half-decent Shifter spy. Figure the same probably goes for the sex work and porn industries. If it can make you a boatload of money and let you live comfortably…”

“There’s more to life than just money.” Whisper says.

“Well, that’s easy to say when you make a lot of money.” Kwyn mumbles. “Just. Speaking as someone that wasn’t making a lot of money until last year. It’s easy to say there’s more to life than money when you don’t actually have to worry about money.”

“Mmm. She’s got a good point.” I say to Whisper.

Whisper rolls her eyes. “Well, in Gekku’s case, there is more to life than just money. There’s also cellular integrity. Both of you are aware that Shifters can change appearance and even physical dimensions and form, but that has a cost. Shifters that shift appearances or change forms frequently accelerate their rate of cell division, which gradually leads to cell degradation and exhaustion. They effectively trade longevity for their shapeshifting ability; the more they shapeshift, the more they trim their lifespan. The Conservium, which is the Shifter government, has been trying to find a fix for this for generations.”

“And I assume that’s Gekku’s pressure point.” I guess.

“It is.” Whisper says, reaching into her pocket and pulling out a small vial. “A lot of research goes into gene therapies, cell rejuvenation research, and telomeric regeneration that could help the Shifter condition. This is one of the newest serums to come out of the companies that work on that stuff, and while it doesn’t reverse cellular degeneration, it certainly slows it to a crawl.”

“If we’re using that as leverage, I assume Gekku wouldn’t otherwise have access to it?” Kwyn says, nodding to the vial.

“Correct. These serums go for tens of thousands of credits a vial. This kind of research isn’t cheap, especially when the product is cutting-edge.” Whisper says. “This version is still considered experimental, in the trial phase, so it’s not publicly available. But results have been promising, and CURSE was able to buy a sample under an agreement that they would report the results back to the pharmaceutical company that’s trialing it. If Gekku agrees to work with us, we’ll provide him with regular doses of this serum as part of his compensation package.”

“And if he doesn’t?” I ask.

“One count of resisting arrest, and two counts of assaulting a peacekeeping officer. Lead with the carrot, follow up with the stick.” Whisper says, pocketing the vial. “Kwyn, you’ll be monitoring for this one. Dare and I will head in there to pitch to him.”

“Understood. Do you want me feeding you any information?” Kwyn asks, moving to the console as Whisper passes me an earbud.

“Whatever seems relevant to you as the negotiation progresses.” Whisper says, stepping up to the door of the cell. “C’mon, Dare. Let’s get this over with.”

I join her at the door of the cell, and it spirals open, the static screen behind it regressing so we can step in. Whisper grabs a chair and drags it in, and I do the same, both of us setting up not far from the door as it spirals shut behind us. Gekku, who’s sitting slumped in his chair, watches us step in and get settled.

“Well. Let’s get right to it. Do you know why we’re here, Gekku?” Whisper says, folding one leg over the other.

“Something to do with the Valiant, if I had to guess. Or you want to try and wring some Challenger secrets out of me.” he says, examining his fingernails. “This could’ve been an email, you know. Would’ve saved you the trip and the warrant.”

“You’re right, it has something to do with the Valiant.” Whisper says. “We need someone to infiltrate them.”

That gets Gekku’s attention. “…this was supposed to be a job offer? Damn. Your recruiting game sucks ass. Do you usually arrest people before trying to coerce them into a job offer?”

“We knew you well enough to know we’d need the arrest warrant.” Whisper says. “But yes, we’re here to offer you a job. Benefits are considerable if you actually do what we ask you to do and don’t give us any trouble.”

“Yeah, well, you’re forgetting the part where I already have a job.” Gekku points out. “You literally kidnapped me while I was doing it.”

“Arrest is not kidnapping.” I speak up at this point.

“Arrest is kidnapping. It’s just a legalized version sanctioned by the state. And while we’re on the topic, bail is just legalized ransom.” Gekku counters. “But we digress. I was perfectly happy with the job I had, and I’m not looking for another one, so I’ll have to decline your offer.”

“He wasn’t all that happy when we showed up. He was arguing with the director about the script, if I remember correctly.” Kwyn reminds us at this point.

“You didn’t seem too happy to us. If I remember correctly, you were a little frustrated that the script you’d been given was lacking depth.” I say.

Gekku purses his lips and looks away. “You can’t win ‘em all. Anyone can make a good line sound good. But only an actor can make bad lines sound good. It’s just part of the gig; you do the best you can with the roles that come your way.”

“Well, if you want a real challenge, since that seems to be what you were craving, we’ve got plenty of infiltration work for you.” Whisper says. “There should be plenty of opportunities for roles where you actually get to test your range.”

“Mmm, yeah. Problem with those roles is that they could get me killed if they go south.” Gekku says, leaning back in his chair as he folds one leg over the other. “Say what you will about adult entertainment, but at least it’s not a hazardous occupation. You get your back blown out every now and then, but that comes with the territory.”

“Pay is commensurate with risk. And CURSE has the budget for a comfortable compensation package; we can attest to that as Peacekeepers.” I say. “Comprehensive health insurance included, along with bonuses for exceptional performance.”

Gekku smirks at me. “Oh, I make more than enough money. CURSE may be willing to pay a lot, but they’re not going to be able to outscale what I’m currently making working as one of R34’s top talents. It’s a thirsty galaxy out there, and I am one of the tallest glasses of water around.”

“He’s being honest about that part. Intelligence department did analysis of the productions he’s featured in, and he’s received top billing in most of them. He also has an extensive library of pay-per-view shorts, and he’s done voice work for a lot of projects in the adult animation space. His residuals alone are probably bringing in thousands of credits a month.” Kwyn says, and it sounds like she’s reading off one of the assessment paragraphs on Gekku’s file.

“Got a fly buzzing in your ear there?” Gekku asked, noticing the lull in the conversation. “Might as well put the monitor on the intercom. Should spice up the conversation a little.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna happen. I know how you are with trying to derail these kinds of things.” Whisper says, staring to root around in her jacket. “CURSE might not be able to match what you’re getting out of R34, but we do have access to something they don’t.” She pulls out the vial she’d showed us earlier. “Experimental rejuvenation serum.”

Gekku’s eyes go to the vial, and though his tone and body language remains casual, those eyes give away his attention. “If it’s experimental, then it hasn’t been cleared by the GDA yet.”

“Yet. Initial trial runs and studies are all bringing back positive results, with the usual one-off outliers.” Whisper says. “You know how drug studies go, though. So slow to arrive to conclusions, so this formula probably won’t hit the market for another five years. Maybe a decade.”

“But if you take the offer, we might be able to secure regular doses from the company that’s producing it. With the caveat that we report back the results for the subject that’ll be using it.” I say nonchalantly. “And if it’s good, then when the time comes for the formula to hit the market, perhaps you could endorse it. Provide a testimonial or two.”

“I doubt that R34 could make that kind of offer.” Whisper says. “And considering how frequently that job requires you to shift, I imagine you’ve been burning the candle at both ends for quite a while now, haven’t you?”

Gekku no longer looks quite as relaxed, though he still isn’t folding. “You want me to just up and leave my very lucrative gig in return for a rejuvenation serum that hasn’t even cleared clinical trials yet? Even if I was considering it, I’d want a test run first to see if it would actually do anything for me.”

“Oh, that’s a real shame. We only managed to secure one dose for the initial offer, and it can only be committed to the Shifter that’s willing to take the job opening.” Whisper says. “Can’t just be handing out free samples to every Shifter that we make the offer to, after all. The pharmaceutical company wouldn’t be very happy about that.” She flips the vial into the air, catching it and tucking it back away within her jacket. “Looks like we’ll just have to find another Shifter that’s more open to the position.”

Gekku jerks forward slightly as Whisper tosses the vial in the air, as if he was scared she’d miss the catch and it would shatter on the floor. He relaxes slightly when she tucks it back in her jacket, though I can see his jaw tighten. “I would need time to think about it.” he says, his foot bouncing nervously. “And I would have to wrap up filming for my current projects, and check in with my agent about any future projects. And I would want flexibility to keep working on projects between any missions that CURSE did send me on. I mean, not that I’m agreeing to it, but hypothetically speaking, if I did, that would be one of the key stipulations. Among other things.”

“Mmm, not sure we can promise anything along those lines.” Whisper says, standing up. “We’re going to have to confer with the administration and see what they’re willing to compromise on. Tell you what, why don’t you sit tight and think on that offer, and we’ll go talk to upper management and see if they’re willing to bend on the particulars.”

“We’ll get back with you in thirty minutes. Maybe more, depending on the conversation we have with administration.” I say, standing up as well and collecting my chair. “We were really looking forward to working with you. No one better to infiltrate the Valiant than someone that used to be a Challenger, after all.”

With that, we step back into the brig, the static screen reforming as the door spirals shut behind us. Kwyn looks up from the console as we return. “Seems like you got his attention. He was staring at the vial pretty hard.”

“Yeah, I’m not sure we’ve got the deal sealed yet, but we do have him hooked.” I say, hitching my hands on my hips and staring back into the cell, where Gekku’s rocking his chair nervously. “He wants that serum pretty bad. That’s the look of a fellow that’s been watching the sand in the hourglass trickle away faster than he likes.”

“We may have to make a few concessions to get him onboard, but I think we can make it happen.” Whisper says. “Recruiting can probably take it from here, handle the work of negotiating a contract once he gets in contact with his lawyer or his agent or whoever else he’s going to need to talk to. We just need to bring them up to speed and they can handle the rest.”

“We should probably get on that, then.” I say, turning towards the brig’s doors. “That was a bold move back here, getting fancy with the serum. I was a bit concerned you might fumble it and we’d be watching thousands of credits shatter on the floor.”

“What, this?” Whisper says, pulling out the vial as Kwyn joins us on our way to the doors. “Nah, this is just a bit of tap water in a vial I snagged out of the onboard lab. The actual serum’s locked up nice and tight back on the HQ.”

“Wait, that’s not actually the serum?” Kwyn says, staring at the vial. “Then why…”

“It’s all about the psychology.” Whisper says, tapping the vial against her head. “If we just tell him that we have a sample of an experimental rejuvenation serum, then he has to take our word for it. It’s just a hypothetical, and it’s harder for people to get emotionally invested in the idea of something. But if we show him that sample, it’s not hypothetical anymore — it’s real, it’s tangible, it’s within reach. And people are much more emotionally invested in something they can actually see and touch.” Whisper tosses the vial to Kwyn, who fumbles to catch it. “Remember that in case you ever have to negotiate with someone or close out a deal. It’s harder to think rationally when the thing you want is right in front of you.”

“Oh. Alright, I’ll keep it in mind.” Kwyn says as she finally gets a firm grip on the vial. “So now we gotta track down the field recruiter and bring them up to speed?”

“Yup.” Whisper says, leading us down the hall. “So let’s go get that sorted out so we can start winding down. I’m ready to grab a shower and call it a night after the day we’ve had.”

Intercepted Transmission

CURSE Conference Call

10:44pm SGT

Tenji: Am I reading this report correctly?

Nazka: It does raise some questions, yes.

T: I… it’s just. This can’t be right. Right? There must be a mistake of some sort.

N: The report was composed by Dandelion, so the events reported within should be a measured and realistic representation of what occurred on Balmorrah. Cybers, particularly ones with Dandelion’s position and responsibilities, are not given to exaggeration or embellishment in the course of their duties.

T: So you think there was an actual demon goddess summoned on Balmorrah.

N: If Dandelion was willing to describe it as such, then yes, I believe she took a measured view of the facts at hand and reached a conclusion based on the thorough analysis of those facts. Whether or not it is an actual hypernatural is up for debate, but whatever was summoned on Balmorrah is clearly an entity of substantial power. 

T: And here I thought the Daughters of Azra were just another crackpot cult… well, shit. So the ritual actually succeeded, they summoned something from somewhere, and now they’re running around the galaxy doing what, exactly?

N: It is not entirely clear what their intentions are. And they seem to have dropped off the radar; we were able to track their group on Balmorrah, but then they simply disappeared. The intelligence department seems to be at a loss for where they went or how they disappeared.

T: Just keeps getting better and better, doesn’t it. What are the chances that this will turn into a crisis of some sort later?

N: It seems likely, given what Dandelion reported, and the entity claiming it had ‘work’ to do. The ambiguity does not help matters; it seems to have given no clues as to what this ‘work’ is, or where it will take place, and on what timeframe. I have advised SCION to be on the lookout for any indicators which are typically seen in the lead-up to large-scale actions or events, so hopefully we will have some forewarning if there is a crisis brewing.

T: As if there wasn’t enough to deal with, between Mokasha, the Valiant, and Laughing Alice…

N: You should also know that Dandelion reported the summoning and its outcome to the Vaunted.

T: What? Why? Why would she do that?

N: She appears to be aware that the Vaunted has a division specializing in the containment of hypernaturals. For her, reporting the summoning of a demonic entity was likely the logical course of action after the failure of the rescue mission.

T: Great. So now the Vaunted may have questions. I swear, if they turn to us and ask us why we let things get to this state in the first place…

N: We did wash our hands of the matter early on, when the Drifters chose to pursue the Tinkerbelles before the intelligence department could do their due diligence.

T: That’ll work if we have to explain things to the media, but trying to fob it off as a process failure isn’t going to fly with the Vaunted and other security orgs. They know the industry; they know you don’t just turn a blind eye to stuff that has the potential to escalate.

N: In fairness to us, one generally does not expect the attempted summoning of demonic forces to succeed. At least not of the magnitude that the Daughters of Azra were aiming for.

T: It’s still not a good look. And if the Vaunted get involved and end up capturing some of the cultists and interrogating them, there’s a chance that they might find out that we were the ones that sold out the Drifters to the Daughters of Azra in the first place. We need to get a handle on this before it gets away from us; we can’t afford that kind of PR disaster at a time when the Valiant are just getting stronger and stronger.

N: Then you think it is time to start actively dedicating resources to this particular issue?

T: Yes and no. If we do it too suddenly, it’s going to raise eyebrows. We need it to seem like a natural ramp-up… for now we’ll maintain our disinterest in the issue and keep the stance we’ve had for the last two months. But we need to get a grip on the Drifters and rein them back in; letting them have free run of the galaxy was a mistake. They’re gonna be pissed at us, so let’s offer to cover their medical expenses for any injuries they incurred during their little jaunt on Balmorrah, even if it was technically outside of our liability. That should soften them up, and let’s order them to return to HQ for debriefing once they’ve received medical care.

N: It brings me no pleasure to point it out, but there is the distinct possibility that they will spurn our orders. Their track record on compliance is… abysmal, to put it lightly.

T: I’m aware. We’ll need to put our focus on the women; Dandelion and the female Preserver are less motivated to rock the boat. It’s the men on the crew — specifically that redneck and the witchling — that have a tendency to spurn authority and take matters into their own hands. If we can reason with the women and get them to comply, I have a feeling that they can get the men to go along. And then, once they are here at the HQ, we can start working on the turnaround. I’ll meet with the witchling after a bit, let him ‘convince’ me to have a change of heart, and then we can start the actual process of dedicating teams to the issue.

N: We can begin planning well before that point, of course.

T: Of course. We just need to keep it low-profile. So by the time we reach the turnaround point, we can be ready for rapid mobilization and deployment. The witchling’s personal vestment in the issue gives us an excuse to take point on the issue if the Vaunted get involved, although I’m not sure what we’re gonna do if it turns out an actual demon goddess was summoned…

N: If that is the case, let the Vaunted’s HCD handle that part. We can offer to handle the cultists so that the HCD team can focus on containing the hypernatural. It will allow us to eliminate anyone that may have been involved in the deal we struck, so we can clean up any evidence of our prior involvement in the matter. I’m sure the Vaunted will be happy to let us take some work off their plate while leaving them with the most prestigious part of handling such a crisis.

T: And when the dust settles, we can use the crisis as leverage to bring the Drifters back under our thumb. Extend job offers to them and turn them into operatives so we can keep them on a shorter leash. God knows they need it, with the trouble they keep getting into.

N: I’m not sure I agree. Trying to keep them may be more trouble than it’s worth.

T: That’s what I figured, and that’s why we tried to trade them away in exchange for the artifact intel. We got the artifact, but now we’ve got some sort of demon entity roaming the galaxy, and the Drifters are still alive. Trying to get rid of them clearly didn’t work, so I’d prefer that we get a hand on their collar, and keep them where we can control them, until we can figure out what to do with them.

N: I will point out that officially hiring them as CURSE operatives will not change their independent streak or their propensity for insubordination. We may simply be setting ourselves up for further headaches down the line by trying to bring them under our direct control.

T: Perhaps. But that’s far in the future, after all of this has been settled. Let’s take it one step at a time, and perhaps other solutions or opportunities will present themselves as matters progress.

N: Fair enough. On the matter of reports, did you see the most recent one from the spy we have embedded with the Valiant?

T: About the visit to Halomorian and Laughing Alice? Yes, I saw it…

N: There is a window to recover the artifact that Laughing Alice stole from us.

T: And all we’d have to do is fight through the Valiant’s S-team.

N: We do have a Spark of our own now. The odds are better than they would otherwise be.

T: That may be true, but we need a win. The last thing I want to see is another story about how CURSE got folded by the Valiant. If we keep losing to them, we’re basically giving them free publicity. We might as well be taking money out of our coffers and transferring it to them with how a lost battle degrades our image and improves theirs.

N: This is true. But if we don’t act now, then we will likely never have another chance to retrieve that artifact. They already have the Bastions; we should not let them have any more advantages than they already have. Besides, image can be rebuilt over time — but once that artifact is in a Bastion, we are never getting it back.

T: [sighing] …dispatch Prophet to intercept the Valiant at the next world they’re headed to. That should buy us enough time to retask the Mediator and other Peacekeepers in that direction as well, and get them onsite before the Valiant can do their business and escape.

N: I will start making arrangements. Are there any particular Peacekeepers you want to dedicate to this intercept beyond the three on the Mediator?

T: Send our heavy hitters, as many as we can feasibly dispatch without disrupting our other operations. If we’re going to do this, we might as well do it properly. No half-measures. We bring the hammer down, and we bring it down hard.

N: Understood. Is that permission for me to head up this intercept myself?

T: It is. You may deploy; SCION and I will manage things while you are gone.

N: Understood. I will start making those arrangements now.

Event Log: Ilyana Kemaim

C.V. Mediator: Axiom’s Quarters

1/8/12765 12:17am LST

There was a part of me that was hoping that he wouldn’t answer this late in the night cycle. But I’d been tossing and turning in my room for the last two hours, and I was finding it more or less impossible to sleep. I needed some peace of mind if I was going to get any rest, so I’d gotten up and dragged myself to Dare’s quarters to see if he was still awake. Even if he wasn’t, I’d be able to tell myself I tried, and that would be enough to let me sleep.

But much to my surprise, his door spirals open less than a minute after I ring the bell. He’s dressed in his pajamas, but his face lacks the hazy grogginess that usually indicates a rude awakening.

“What are you doing awake at this time of night?” I blurt out.

He raises an eyebrow. “You come to my room and hit the buzzer, then ask me why I’m awake? I’m pretty sure I’m the one that should be asking why you’re awake this time of night.”

“Well, I didn’t expect you to answer.” I say defensively. “But you did, so here we are. Mind if I come in?”

“Sure.” he says, stepping out of the way. “Sorry about the mess. Was in the middle of folding my laundry while listening to an intelligence report.”

I can see what he’s talking about as I step in and see that there’s clothes grouped on the bed. Most of them have been folded into neat piles, organized by pants, shirts, socks, and underwear, and on the other side of the bed is the dwindling pile of unfolded laundry. “Listening to briefings from the intelligence department? Jeez, that would’ve put me right to sleep. Maybe I should’ve tried that.” I say, waving the door closed behind me.

“Normally I’d say the same, but this one is an update on Laughing Alice and the artifact she stole from us.” Dare says, heading over to the bed and picking up his data slate so he can sit down. “The update came from the spy we’ve had embedded with the Valiant for the past few months.”

“Oh, no.” I groan, already knowing where this is going.

“Yup.” Dare grimaces. “Alice handed the artifact over to them. Apparently she considers the Valiant an ally.”

“Gahhh.” I exhale, leaning back against the wall of his room. “That’s the last thing we need. Laughing Alice and the Valiant are problematic enough on their own; if they’re working together, we’re gonna have our hands full.”

“I had pretty much the same reaction.” Dare says, tapping the slate against his hand. “At the very least, we can account for where the artifact’s gone to, and who currently has it. And who knows, maybe we’ll be able to get it back in the future.”

“We can only hope. If it ends up in a Bastion, we might as consider it lost. We’ll never be able to get it out of there.” I say, rubbing my nose. “The thing that aggravates me is that we did the hard work of finding at least two of those artifacts so far, and Alice just swooped in, nicked one, and gave it to the Valiant.” I pull my hand down to nibble on my thumb a little. “You said that she handed the artifact over to them? Do we know if she asked for anything in return?”

“Didn’t see any mention of it on the report.” Dare says, flicking over the screen of his data slate. “The focus was on the fact that the Valiant had the artifact, not what they may have exchanged for it. But the way the main summary phrases it, it sounds like she just… handed it over to them.”

“I was about to ask why you’d just hand over something that valuable, but then I remembered it’s Laughing Alice.” I say, letting my hand drop. “Of all the people I could imagine just giving away a Dragine artifact, Alice is at the top of the list. She isn’t the kind of person that can be shifted with money or prestige.”

“A true believer?” Dare guesses.

“Yeah. You and I both know why those are dangerous.”

“Because it’s almost impossible to reason with them.”

“Yup.”

Dare puffs out a breath, setting the data slate aside. “All the more reason to catch her and get her back in prison, then. In the meantime, intelligence is trying to see if there’s a way we can intercept that Valiant team before they get back to the Bastion. Might be our only chance to get the artifact back; like you said, once it reaches a Bastion, it’s pretty much unrecoverable.”

I snort at that. “That’s going to depend entirely on what Valiant members Alice handed the artifact over to.”

Dare rolls his lip, sucking air in through his teeth as he looks away.

“She gave it to Songbird and the main crew, didn’t she.” I guess.

“Yeah.”

I let my head rock back against the wall behind me. “Welp, that’s a lost cause. We ain’t getting that artifact back.”

“Pretty sure they’re going to send us to try anyway.” Dare says, picking up a shirt and starting to fold it. “Considering the lengths the administration wanted to go to in order to get the artifact that was on Avvikerene.”

“I’m hoping they’d have more sense than that, but administration regularly disappoints me.” I say, checking my nails. “If they’re willing to dump us onto Avvikerene to retrieve something they don’t even know how to use, I’m pretty sure they’ll throw us at Songbird without a second thought. They’ll probably point to the fact that you’ve got a Spark and say we’ve got a fighting chance.”

Dare snorts at that. “Yeah, for what that’s worth. Powers that I can’t even control, which only show up when they feel like it.”

“You popped off a couple of times on Avvikerene.” I point out. “That’s something, at least.”

“Yeah, but it never happened offensively.” he says, setting the folded shirt on the neat stack of folded shirts he’s got beside him. “That’s something I’m starting to notice; I can’t ever force it to go active, and it only seems to activate defensively, when I need to protect myself or someone around me. If that’s the case and I can only ever use it defensively…” He trails off, sighing.

“Well, it’s better than nothing.” I say. “You might not feel like it’s very useful, but the rest of us are glad you have it. Sure, it doesn’t show up often, but it shows up when it matters. The fight with Laughing Alice, and a couple of the fights with Sundew… those would’ve turned out much differently if you hadn’t had the Spark. It shows up where it counts, so I’m not going to complain.”

“Well. That does make me feel a little better.” he says, picking up a set of jeans and starting to fold those. “At any rate, what’s got you awake this time of night? Unless you just wanted to stop by and socialize, but I wouldn’t figure you’d just be coming by to socialize this time of night.”

“Yeah, I needed to talk to you about something.” I say, taking a bracing breath before the words start spilling out. “It’s about Kwyn. I kissed her while you were gone. Actually no, that’s… that’s way underselling it. I kinda made out with her.”

Dare stares at me for a moment, then chuckles. “You’re getting into all kinds of trouble while I’m gone, aren’t you.”

I stare at him. “Why are you laughing? I thought you’d be angry!”

He shrugs, continuing to fold his jeans. “I mean, I suppose I could be angry, but after what we went through on Avvikerene… I can’t blame you. Can’t blame Kwyn either. I saw what I saw, and I know what I know, and if that’s what you two want, it’s not my place to take that away from either of you.”

I don’t know what to say to that, so I just sit dumbfounded for a moment, my mind zinging through Dare’s words and trying to find the meaning between the lines. Trying to figure out if there’s something he’s saying without actually saying it, or if he’s trying to hint at something else. Then I remember that Dare’s a man, and men often say exactly what they mean.

“You’re really okay with that?” I ask tentatively.

“I mean, it is a little bitter, but you two are adults. You’re allowed to make choices for yourself in that area.” he says, putting his folded jeans on a stack of pants. “I don’t see a point in getting angry over it, and it wouldn’t make me happy. Wouldn’t make you or Kwyn happy either. It’s a choice, and I choose to roll with it. Trying to fight it wouldn’t accomplish anything. Nothing useful, at least.”

“Well, hold up— slow down a bit there.” I say, putting my hands up. “Kwyn and I aren’t an item; we’re not… we’re not dating, it’s just…”

Dare waits patiently while I fumble for the words, looking a bit mystified. “So you two aren’t a thing, you just… made out with each other?”

“Well yes, that’s— that’s exactly what it is!” I say quickly. “I mean, there was some context to go with it; Prophet was harassing Kwyn, so I chased him off and pulled her aside, and things just kind of escalated—”

“Wait, Prophet was harassing Kwyn?” Dare says, his brow furrowing. “When did this happen?”

“Oh, right, I didn’t tell you about that. Sorry, it’s just… there’s been a lot to deal with ever since we got back from Avvikerene.” I mutter, rubbing my face. “It’s alright, I told him off and warned him I’d bring the administration down on his head if I caught him trying to preach chastity culture to us again. I’ll tell you about it later. But the other thing I was talking about, with Kwyn — we aren’t a thing, we just… I guess I got carried away in the moment, and shit happened, and… this, this really does not sound good, does it.”

“Well, it… sounds like you’re dealing with a lot?” Dare offers carefully. “Do you actually like or want Kwyn, or want to be involved with her…?”

I open my mouth to say ‘no’, but nothing comes out, and I realize some part of me wants to say ‘yes’, and won’t let me say ‘no’. Dare raises an eyebrow when I don’t say anything.

“I don’t knooooow, Dare!” I whine, pushing off the wall and stomping over him so I can flop in his lap and curl up. “I don’t know. I didn’t think I did, but I guess I do, and then there’s you, and it’s complicated and it sucks and I hate it. I don’t know what to dooooooo.”

Dare smiles gently as he rests a hand on my shoulder. “Well… I suppose it is good to know that I’m not the only one struggling with my feelings.” he says slowly. “Have you considered seeing a therapist? I’ve been doing that, and it’s been helping. It’s not a fast process, but it’s gone a long way in helping me get a handle on things.”

“I don’t like therapy.” I grumble, picking at the knee of his pajamas.

“I suppose I can understand that. You’re the kind of person that wants to figure things out on their own.” he says, his hand moving from my shoulder to tuck some hair behind my ear. I twitch a little at the gesture, finding myself quietly thrilled by it, but also conflicted, knowing that it may not mean the same thing to him as what it means to me. After a moment, I roll over on my back to look up at him.

“Have you ever thought about looking at me differently, Dare?” I say.

I can see in his grey eyes that he knows what I’m talking about, and can see as well that he’s thinking through his answer. “You want me to look at you as more than just a friend.” he says after a moment.

“I’d like that, yeah.”

He doesn’t reply right away, as if he was searching for the words he wants to say. “I’ve thought about it. Not just about this specifically, but about all of it. Our history, the last ten years we’ve known each other. I wondered why we…” He pauses, as if considering the phrasing of his words, then adjusts them. “…I don’t think I saw you that way because I looked up to you. I mean, I knew you didn’t mind taking a romp with someone if they were interested you, but that was never what you were to me. I respected you. You were the person that trained me, the person with a lot of experience and wisdom, and then after that, you were the person that I hung out with, the one I could be honest with, the one I that I could tell anything.” He’s silent for a moment, staring at the wall as if he was parsing his own words. “I suppose that’s odd, isn’t it? As if it implies that there’s things you could tell a friend that you could never tell to a lover.” After another half moment, he adds, “Maybe that’s why. I don’t have to impress you in bed, so I can be completely honest with you, even about my flaws and shortcomings.”

I snort a bit at that. “A little bit of mystique is good for the romance, eh?”

“I suppose it is, isn’t it. There’s a thrill that comes with the unknown.” he reflects. “Though it’s not a requirement, as such. A romance can’t live on mystique alone. It needs some substance to go the distance, or it becomes a flash in the pan, rather than a slow burn.” He waves a hand. “But that’s just me rambling. Acting like I’m an expert on something I haven’t done in a while and didn’t do much of to begin with.”

“I mean, you’re not wrong.” I say. “A romance needs a little bit of both. And while you do know a lot about me, there’s some things that you don’t…” I falter and trail off, realizing how desperate that may sound. “…I suppose I should adjust my question. Could you ever look at me differently, Dare?”

He doesn’t answer right away; looks at me, then looks away, brow furrowed. He opens his mouth a couple times, as if wanting to speak and then reconsidering it. After a while, he cants his head to one side, letting out a sigh as he answers.

“I… could, but that’s not the question that needs to be asked, I think. It’s whether I should. There’s always been that line we never crossed, and if we take that away, then we can’t put it back in place again. I mean, we can, but things won’t go back to the way they were before.” He pauses for a moment, as if to gather his thoughts. “That’s a risk I’m uncertain about. But there’s also Kwyn to consider on top of everything else, and I… if I’m being honest with you, Whisper, I don’t know how to handle this situation. I don’t what the answer is, or what it should be.”

“Yeah.” I concede as Kwyn’s brought up. There’s the complicating factor; that this is a mess between three people, not just two. No easy solutions. “I don’t know what to do about that either.”

We both remain there in silence for a bit, and eventually, I sit up. The air feels heavy with uncertainty and sticky, tangled problems; not liking the way it feels, I fix it the only way I know how to: making offhand quips. “Ever considered polyamory?”

He glances at me, clearly thinking I’m serious, until he sees the look on my face and chuckles, the tension broken. “Honestly, never thought I’d find myself in a situation where it would feel like the answer.”

I snort. “It rarely is. It’s often used as an excuse to do things you wouldn’t otherwise be allowed to do in a lot of cases. There are people that make it work, but it’s… y’know. Work. It takes effort; it’s not as easy as sleeping with whoever you want to while keeping a relationship.”

“Sounds like we’d be using it as an excuse to not to pick and choose what we want and what we’d have to give up.”

“Yeah.” I admit, although my mind is starting to follow that thread. It was meant as a joke to break the tension, but now I’m actually starting to think about it, and what that would look like. Whether it’d be feasible. “I mean, if it was a closed relationship, just the three of us…”

Dare glances at me, and the look is questioning.

A sudden bolt of panic races through me, and I quickly walk it back. “Sorry. I was just thinking out loud. Probably shouldn’t be doing that, considering how my mind works.” Slipping out of his lap, I stand up, running a hand through my hair. “I should probably let you be. It’s late, and we need our sleep.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll finish folding my laundry and call it a night.” he says, glancing at the dwindling pile of unfolded clothes. “I’m sorry I never noticed, Whisper. I’m just dense sometimes.”

After a moment to soak that in, I reach out and ruffle his hair. “Well, if nothing else, you’ve always been a good friend. I appreciate that. And if you ever decide that you’re ready for more than that… just let me know. I’ve got room in my life for a little bit of trouble.”

I don’t stay to see if he’ll answer, turning and leaving the room. I know, with his hesitation and with the added factor of Kwyn, that it’s unlikely he’ll take me up on that offer anytime soon. But I put the offer out there, and I feel like I can rest now that I’ve gotten that off my chest.

I might be sleeping alone tonight, but at least I wouldn’t be going to bed with any regrets.