Orin didn't move. He just watched, the smirk still there, patient in a way that felt almost unbearable.

"I need to—" He stopped. The sentence had no ending that made sense.

"I came here because—" That one was worse.

He pulled the poem out of his pocket and looked at it. Then at Orin.

"I don't know what's happening to me."

Orin set the guitar aside slowly. "Well," he said, "that's the most honest thing anyone from the Coil has ever said to me."

He stood up and nodded toward the door. "Come inside. I'll make something hot."

Kael started to walk up the steps. He jumped as they creaked under his feet. He wasn’t sure what that meant or if he would fall through them. Steps weren’t supposed to make sound.

Orin chuckled. “You’re fine, Renwick. This shack might be older than both of our ages combined, but I haven’t fallen through yet.”

Kael did the rough calculation. Orin was easily twice his mass. If the floor had held him, it would hold Kael.

The inside looked just as worn as the outside. And it was full; full in a way that no building Kael had ever been in was full..

There was stuff everywhere. He was overwhelmed by how so many things could fit into such a small space. It reminded him a bit of Oakhaven’s archive. There were shelves filled with books. Papers strewn across the desk in the corner. Dishes were dirty in the sink, and clean ones were set on the counter to dry. A second guitar was mounted on the wall. Next to it, there were old photographs hung. Kael looked away from them deliberately. He’d had enough of photographs for one lifetime. 

He looked back once, before he could stop himself.

The smell of woodsmoke invaded his nostrils as he walked toward the wooden chair Orin indicated to him next to the fireplace. He hesitated for a moment before sitting down.

“Just sit down, Renwick,” Orin said, not unkindly. “The chair won’t bite you.”

Kael sat immediately at the order.

From across the room, Orin glanced back at him. Kael held the look for a moment, something he couldn't name in those purple-speckled golden-green eyes, then dropped his grey-blue ones to his hands.

“What do you like with your coffee?” Orin asked from the kitchen area. The space was open. No walls separated the living space from the kitchen, and there was a bed in the corner. Kael had to assume that the only door off of the room led to the restroom. At least he hoped there was a separate room for that. He looked around for a toilet, but there was none. He welcomed the slight relief he felt at that.

“Oh. I actually don’t drink coffee. Never have,” Kael said. “Caffine is a stimulant.”

“Ah, that’s right,” said Orin. “You Harmonious only drink water and juice, right?”

“Pretty much,” Kael said, thinking about it. “There was one time I tried some kind of tea when I was sick. It was terrible though. Tasted like flower water.”

Orin smirked. “You probably didn’t put sugar or honey in it, did you?”

“Didn’t know I was supposed to,” Kael said. “The Coil Nutrition Guidelines don’t mention it.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Orin said, shaking his head. “I have some venison stew made. I’ll heat up a bowl of that for ya.”

“Isn’t venison meat?”

“Deer meat.”

Kael turned a light shade of green. He pictured his foe in the woods. “You eat those things?”

“Let me guess. You don’t eat meat of any kind, do you?”

“No. Meat involves,” Kael dropped his voice to a whisper. “Killing things.”

“Yes, it does,” Orin nodded. “So what do you eat?”

Kael's stomach rumbled. He just realized he hadn’t eaten anything in over a day. “Does the stew have vegetables in it, at least?”

Orin nodded and began to heat up the pot of stew.

While he waited, Kael’s eyes were drawn back to the photos on the wall. He couldn’t make out most of them from where he was sitting. But there was one that wasn’t a photograph, but a drawing.

It was of the cross man. 

Kael was about to ask Orin who he was when a bowl of steaming stew slid across the table toward him.

“Eat up,” Orin said as he spooned some into his own mouth.

Kael stared at his bowl for a moment. He could see carrots, celery, and other vegetables he didn’t know the names of swimming amongst the chunks of meat. It did smell delicious. 

He maneuvered his spoon so that he would only get the carrots. The broth was savory. Unlike anything he’d tasted before. Mmmm.

Orin smiled, and Kael wasn’t sure if he’d made the sound aloud. “This is quite tasty, Orin. Thank you.”

“You’re quite welcome,” Orin replied, slightly mocking. 

“What did you put in the broth to make it taste like this?”

“Deer.”

Kael looked at his bowl again. “You can taste the meat in the broth?”

“Yep. The flavors of it kind of melt into the liquid,” Orin said. He watched as Kael processed how that worked in his mind. “Try the meat. It’s good for your body. And what’s good for your body is good for your mind.”

Kael knew he was right about that. Okay, Kael. You can do this.

He got a piece of the venison on his spoon and brought it to his nose. It smelled the way the broth tasted, so maybe Orin was right about that too. Perhaps he had been a chef as well as a musician before Relegation.

He took a deep breath, and put the spoon in his mouth without thinking more about it. Chewing the meat was almost as easy as the soft carrots. Maybe a little more stringy, but it was tender, and his jaw didn’t have to struggle. 

He couldn’t deny it. It was the best food he had ever tasted. He plunged his spoon back in for more. Before he knew it, the bowl was empty.

He set the spoon down. His stomach was warm in a way that had nothing to do with the temperature of the stew. He realized that Orin had been watching him, and that somewhere in the eating, he had completely stopped thinking about what he was eating.

An animal.

He’d just eaten an animal. The salt water leaked out without his permission.

“It’s okay, Kael,” Orin said softly. “It’s part of the cycle of life. If you think about it, plants are living things too that we kill to eat as well. The only difference is, they don’t have a heartbeat.”

Kael put his head in his hands and let the tears roll.

Everything in his life was changing so quickly. 

“Orin, why did your poem do this to me?”

Orin sat back in his chair, and rubbed his chin. “My poem didn’t do anything to you.”

Kael shook his head and wiped the tears from his face. “Wait, you haven’t asked me how I got your poem in the first place.”

Orin smiled. “I don’t need to. I know where I left it and why. But trust me, Renwick. You’re not ready for me to tell you that. Why don’t you tell me what led you to it?”

Kael took a deep breath for what felt like the millionth time that day, and began to recap the last thirty-six or so hours.

He told him about the woodcarver’s idle hands, about the children’s park. About not being able to write the report. About going to the archive to find out what the town used to be.

"In the archive were all these photos, and I kept seeing this man on a cross in them. Like the one in that drawing," Kael said, pointing at the wall.

Orin glanced at it. He didn't say anything.

The silence that followed was different from the Coil's silence. It had weight in it, like Orin was measuring something, not Kael's words, but what they had cost him to say.

He was just finishing telling him about stepping off the flow corridor when his phone buzzed. 

Support has been dispatched.

It was from Valerius.

Kael stood up abruptly, dropping his phone onto the floor. He began running his hand through his hair and started pacing the shack. His eyes landed on the drawing on the wall. The cross man looked back at him. He kept pacing.

Orin picked up the phone and looked at the message. “Well, that’s not good.”

“No, Orin. It’s not good. Not good at all. What on earth am I going to do? They have to know where I’m at by now. I’ve been radio silent for too long. And it’s strange that it took Valerius this long to send support. What has he been doing since I sent my message? If I could find you as fast as I did, that support will be here before we know it!”

Orin set his bowl down slowly. Something had gone quiet in his face. He didn’t seem to like the idea of another member of the Coil showing up on his shack-step. 

Kael noticed his eye flicker toward the bookshelves, but before he could say anything, a sudden chill overcame his entire body. He felt like a bucket of ice had been dropped on him.

Orin stood up and went to his door. He looked out toward Oakhaven. “Whoever it is, they’re already in town.”

“How do you know that?” Kael asked exasperatedly. 

“I don’t know how to describe it in a way that you would understand, but a ‘lack’ just arrived at the station.”

Kael knew that what he felt then was confusion. He didn’t need the Coil’s Lexicon for that. But a connection formed in his mind. There was only one person that made him feel like ice.

Vesper.

He had felt that sensation once before, the day she had reviewed his final Strategic assessment. He had told himself then it was simply the air conditioning. He had no such excuse now.

“I think it’s an Unburdening Custodian,” Orin said, not looking at Kael. Kael was pulled from his thoughts for just a moment.

“Again, how would you know that a UC is coming?”

Orin still had Kael’s phone in his hand. “We don’t have time for that. You just got another message.” He handed the phone to Kael.

I am requesting an update on your location. You are not at your assigned quarters. A prompt response on this matter is required. -Vesper

“They’re giving you a chance to willingly turn yourself in, Renwick,” Orin said. “Are you gonna take it?”

Kael met his eyes. “Not until I get some answers.”